We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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