I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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