If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I need to calm my uterus...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
