Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
