Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
