her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
