He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
