Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
