The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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