she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
