I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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