I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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