those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
farters have to be the big spoon...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
