i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
