..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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