Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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