wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
