We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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