franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
