We're facebook friends in real life
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We got so high we made milksteak
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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