Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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