Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
