Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
