I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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