he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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