areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Randomize