Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think i have herpe
just one?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
