Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
