I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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