He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
