I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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