Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
