what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
