fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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