yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Damn victory sex feels great
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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