my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize