the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
