Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
