that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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