when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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