remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
