How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
