New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
