awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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