I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize