sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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