ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
