capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
