Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
