I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
