I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
