he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
