So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
