Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
