either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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