Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
