it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I deserve this hangover.
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