Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I need to calm my uterus...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
