I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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